Widow's Week is Coming to an end....

Well, tomorrow the boys come home from their hunt. I think I did really good this year. Maybe I am growing up and realizing I will be ok (hives and all). I mean I do miss him. I miss talking to him every night as we go to bed. I miss feeling him leach to me when we sleep. It does not matter how much I move in the night. He is right there laying next to me. I love that. I always feel safe. I do miss being able to call him on the phone when I want to tell him something funny that the kids or I have done. I miss feeling his arms around me when he hugs me so tight. OK...OK....now I am really missing him. He will be coming home tomorrow (stinky and all). I have also missed Colby. I do not know if Mason would admit it....but I think he missed him too. I love them so much. But I do have to say we had a really good time. We did some fun stuff. We went to Chuck E Cheese, Shopping for Halloween costumes, shopping with my mom for clothes, me and Mason started to decorate the house for fall/Halloween. We ended the week by going to my Great Niece Aspen's 3rd birthday party.

Most of you know that I have custody of my niece Amy. She is 11 years old. I also have/had custody of her sister Andrea who is now 18! So I no longer have custody of her I guess. I got Andrea when she was 14 and pregnant. I tell you what it was not easy. I have known Andrea for 12 years. We were really close. She has lived with us from time to time. We were more like buddies. We would go places in the car just singing to our favorite songs on the radio. She would tell me all the kid drama with her and her friends. We would laugh together and cry together. And for some reason as soon as I received custody of her, that all went away. She looked at me differently. I think she saw me as someone that was trying to take over her as her mother (who was just going through hard times in life). I never wanted to do that. We really bumped heads. It was hard taking her in at that point when she was raised for so long to do whatever she wanted and now she had to live with us where we wanted to know where she was going and would tell her what time to be home. I can understand how hard that had to have been for her. Not being able to live with her mom. It was a rocky road. She is now living back with her mom. She is of age and made that choice. Her little girl Aspen is now 3! I love Aspen so much. We got to see her grow up right in our house. She mad us laugh every day. She brought allot of happiness into this home. But because me and Andrea drifted she decided to move back with her mom. We do not talk much and I know that is because of me and my stubbornness of forgiveness. I just hate it when someone hurts me. I do not want to forgive so they can just hurt me again. All I ever really wanted was for her to love me as much as she loved her mom.

Andrea invited me and my family to her daughters party. I was not going to go....but with the help of my life coach, Lindsay and my Mom, they told me how good it would be for me to go. Maybe now that Andrea is her own person, maybe we can be like we use to be. She now knows that I can not take her away from her mom. So me and Lindsay took the kids to her party. It was so much fun watching her open her presents and Ryanne loves them so much. She was so excited to see them. I can not believe that the little girl I saw come into this world (Aspen) is now 3. She is so precious to me.

Aspen, my great-niece. She is a great niece! (Andrea's little girl)

Amy and Ryanne

Jaylin (Lindsay's daughter) and Aspen

Mason realizing this is a GIRLY birthday party

Aspen playing pin the heart on the tiara..what a cutie

Aspen opening her presents...

Aspen helping Amy put the tea party cart together that we got her

This is a picture of me and Aspen when she was just a little newborn baby.

Andrea, Amy, and little Aspen

Christmas 2007 (Our last Christmas with all of us together).Andrea, Aspen, Denny, Me, Ryanne, Amy, Colby, and Mason. I am hoping that we can build that relationship back to what it use to be (Me and Andrea) I love her and her daughter more than they will ever know.

Me, Mom, and Lindsay ended the widow's week with homemade stew at my house and yummy pies. We laughed at the Twins(Ryanne and Kamrin) They were dancing and partying together.

We watched a movie and played the Wii. It was a great week. I love spending time with the family. I always try to get them to stay longer. If I had a huge house I would probably make them move in because I hate it when it is time for them to leave. I am glad we all live so close. Heck my sister Lindsay is only 1.5 miles away! Thank you everyone that helped me get through the week. I know, it was only a week. But for some reason it is the longest week of the year...EVERY YEAR! But this time I never once felt alone.