Since this is the closest thing I have to a journal.....

I think most of my posts are really really good memories. But this is life and we all have obstacles. So some (not allot) of my posts might be pretty deep. For you that know me, you know that one of my flaws is forgiveness. I have the hardest time forgiving those that have hurt me. I battle with this. I am always trying to do better and in most situations I think I have improved (not 100% but improvement). The one area that I am having the hardest time with is my dad. I love my dad so much but our relationship the last 13 years has been so rocky. Stuff has happened in my life that I do not want to talk about to much that is just so hard for me to forget. I keep trying with my dad and then I get scared and upset and back off. Or he would back off and we would never hear from him.
I see that my dad over the last 8 months has tried to better himself. He seems like he might be getting better. I see him being there for people in a way that I have always wanted in my life. I see that he truly wants to change. I decided (I do not know the outcome) but I wanted to start going to counseling with him. We went for our first visit on Tuesday (Sept. 9, 2008). It went really good. We did not really touch any subjects too much but it was a good start. Later that night we text each other about how we felt the session went. I told him that I just do not think that he really knows who I am. You have no idea the woman that I am today and what I stand for or became. He text me back saying "I want to know the girl that I fell in love with the day she took her first breath". That made me cry...because I do not really know my dad either and want to know the dad that I grew up with when I was little. He was so funny. I remember when he taught music in primary....his stick figure people were my favorite. He always made us laugh. Well, I know I am just rambling along. I really did not want to get into this to much. I was trying to get to what happened the next morning...
Wednesday at 3:30AM, my sister Lindsay called me and she said dad had collapsed and he was on his way to the hospital in an ambulance right now. They think he had a seizure. I went and picked her up and we met Alyssa at the hospital. When we got there they told us that he did have a seizure and that with the cat scan they did they have found some blood on the brain. When we would go and visit him he asked each one of us what day it was. He could remember long term stuff but had a hard time with the short term. They admitted him in the hospital and we stayed there ALL day. It has been a long time since all of us were in the room together. We were all there except for Curtis. It was a day of just waiting for some answers and doing more tests. And at this point we still do not really have any. We became so tired, us girls giggled the whole day (which I am sure did not help my dad's massive headache that 2 doses of morphine and other medications did not even help) My dad slept allot but then he would wake up and ask us what we have all been up to and what should we talk about now? (he was worried about entertaining us) I do not think he wanted us to leave. We were so exhausted and we did not make sense, some of our words were quite funny. Lindsay kept trying to say Neo- surgeon (I can not spell) instead she kept saying Neo-Surger! lol...we laughed about that every time. At one point Me, Lindsay, Alyssa, Trebor (my step brother, and his wife ) Nikki were all laying on the floor, chairs, and heater vent we were so tired. We thought at that point we could sleep on anything. But as soon as we hit the floor us girls started giggling again and we could not sleep. D.J. stood next to my dad's bed and just watched him sleep most of the day. He was really worried about him. We all were. As I watched my dad sleep, I just would have never guessed that we would be where we are today. I do not know him and his battles he has to deal with every day. If he was to die...would I speak at his funeral, if I did what would I talk about? I get so mad at him and think if he did not do those things he did....we would be such a close family. Today my dad is still fighting a fever. He is still sleeping allot and the doctors will let us know the MRI results later today.
I do know that this post will surprise allot of people. Some of you may be mad at me for posting this. But, I think sometimes it is best to talk about things to get through them. And this is my life..Sometimes life is not always cheery. I love my father with all of my heart. I am trying to forgive him. I do not want anything to happen to him and have it all end like this.


There is not too many moments at the hospital where you wish you had a camera...but I could not help but take this photo with my phone of Lindsay when we thought we were so funny laying on the HARD hospital floor.

Just Because....

I just thought these photos were worth posting. I think she is so cute!

Ryanne at my Mom's house. She has a good hold on Maddie

This was the first time we gave Ryanne corn on the cob. She could not get enough. (hence the corn in both hands)

It's Sleeping Beauty! I love this picture. It turned out a little blurry but it is one of my millions of favorites.

CURTIS IS HERE!

Today we all met at Lindsay's house before going to Texas Roadhouse for my Aunt Kristi's Birthday. We found out that my brother Curtis and his wonderful girlfriend, Zanetta were coming up for the dinner. It has been awhile since we have seen them so me and Lindsay were SO excited. The first thing my mom said when I walked in the door was "Mekelle, I look good today so you can take pictures for you blog!" Since I am now addicted to blogging, I just happen to have my camera on me! My boys think the world of Uncle Curtis and they were over their most the day because Curtis brought his XBOX 360! They were stoked. Not only did they get to see Curtis, but he brought games too (good way to get to their hearts). Just a side note..Mom, I think you look pretty in all the pictures.

This is the Greenwoods. We have my awesome brother-in-law Jason, His beautiful wife (my sister) Lindsay, and their sweet daughters Jaylin and Kamrin.

Zanetta, Lindsay, Mom, and Me

This is photo of the year! Curtis and Mom. You have no idea Curtis how happy you made mom with this picture.

Awww...Look how cute my family is. Lindsay, Curtis, Mom, and Me

Colby took this photo for us....Mom and Popps, Zanetta and Curtis, Lindsay and Jason (Jason did you get taller? JK love ya), Me and Denny

The kids wanted their picture taken too

Ryanne and Denny ready to go to dinner

We are just waiting for them to serve the hip/happenin table

Happy Birthday Kristi! (You do not know this but she is sitting on a horse saddle in front of everyone while we all say Happy Birthday!) It was a good time. Doesn't she look so happy?

Ryanne so excited to be with us (She was the lucky one, the boys stayed home with babysitter)

The twins! (Cousins)

Denny took a shot at taking pictures in the parking lot. He thought he was so awesome. He just took random photos of everyone....He thought he was the paparazzi!

Love ya Curtis and Z (Zanetta)! Well I love all of you but thought I would just give them a special holla, since they do not get to hear it as often.

I did it! I am so a Rock Star now!!!

I DID IT! I was not boo'd off of Rock Band!!!! I am so happy. It was so wierd because after I was thinking about Alyssa all day she showed up at Lindsay's house, I said come on over and we can play Rock Band! It was nice seeing Alyssa again....even though she did not stay for very long. She (and Lindsay) were my lucky charm. I was able to pass a song on the drums. A couple of them actually! My highest score was 81% (so what if it was on easy) Lindsay passed, no problem. Maybe it was because my sisters were here so it was like "Anything you can do I can do better!" Just kidding girls. I had fun. Alyssa and Lindsay are planning on coming over on Sunday. We are going to have some sister time. I can't wait!

What did we do before TiVo?

Me and my sister Lindsay got in this conversation about TiVo the other day. It all started with her telling me that somehow they lost EVERYTHING that was on their TiVo. Me and her both were like "That is the worst thing EVER!!" Her husband laughed and said, "You know.....there was life before TiVo!". (We both agreed that there wasn't)

One of my favorite times in the day is after we tuck all the kids in, Me and Denny will snuggle in our bed and catch up on OUR TiVo. I mean, do not get me wrong...I love every minute with the kids. But, it is nice to have our time too. Most of my reality shows or series are not on right now (except The Hills) and so I do not have much in my TiVo list. We started getting hooked on TLC and A&E. We have now season passed this show called "Intervention". It is a show where they follow people with their addictions. These people think they are doing a documentary about their life when the family actually pulls together and does an intervention. Sometimes they get help. Sometimes they do not. But I can not help but compare every episode to my sister, Alyssa. She is going through so much. It is so hard for us as a family to watch her. We feel there is nothing else we can do. We love her so much! But I do not think she realizes that. But some good things have come out of it. You will not believe this but when she was in the hospital, my MOM and my DAD were in the same room! Wait! Wait! that is not all. When Alyssa was out of the hospital we all decided to get some dinner with Alyssa to help her keep her mind off of her addictions. My MOM and DAD were at the same restaurant, at the same table! That was a good time. We all laughed at how much of a mess Alyssa's son Gage left under the table. Good Times....Good Times.

In the event of her addictions, her boys have been put into a foster home. They will stay there while Alyssa has another chance at getting better. That has been hard on all of us. We miss them. My son Colby was trying to do everything he could think of to have them stay with us. But, we just weren't able to provide for them what they needed and they both need to stay together. We hope to see them over the holidays. So far Alyssa is doing good. We still do not see her as much as we would like. But my mom has seen her at some family meetings and such and says she looks better than she has seen her look in a long time. I think she is really determined to get the kids back. She has agreed to get help! I love my sisters so much....I will always be there for them as they have been there for me. Alyssa I love you so much. I remember when me and Denny first got married, you were like our shadow. You hung out at our house all the time. We would take you everywhere. We miss that. We want you to be our shadow again. We want to help you. I know it is not easy. But, we are here when you want our help.

This is Alyssa at one of her visits with the boys

This is Tyler

This is Gage

Alyssa with her son Tyler..He is almost 3 yrs old now.

This is Gage jumping on my trampoline on Colby's birthday..He will be 2 in January.

Me and my sista!

This is Alyssa and her/our dog puggy. Both of them lived with us for some time. (R.I.P. Puggy)

These pictures were all before her troubles, but it is when I remember her the happiest.

"I would like to introduce you to THE HILLBILLYS!"

We have a special treat for you all tonight.......The Hillbilly's are here to perform some of their favorite ROCK BAND melodies!!!!! First Lets Meet the Band...... (Side note: Please do not mock the seriousness in their faces.....This is not an easy skill.)

First and most important...the girl who pulls them all together, Manager and Piano player, RYANNE! You will see in many photos as she goes around and help tune up the instruments/Band.

On Guitar/Bass we have Mason!

This guy does it all...Drums, Vocals, and Guitar. He is a favorite to all the ladies out there, It's Colby!

Over here we have Amy! She also likes to do it all but her specialty is vocals (American Idol here we come!) As you can see Ryanne is helping her with her warm up. (Is that a bottle she is using for a microphone?)

Last but not least...We have Mom and Dad! Mom is pretty good at the guitar...OK on vocals (so Colby keeps telling her) and will not give up on the drums even though She has failed each time. Dad is the show off and can do it all...

NOW LETS GIVE THEM A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE!

Wow...a standing ovation?
(They are available most family nights, You can make arrangements with Pearl...I mean Ryanne)

Another Family Campout Adventure

I think we hit a record number of camping trips this year which is surprising considering the gas prices. Labor day weekend we did not have anything reserved. Just at the last minute we decided to just head up to the mountains somewhere. Kinda our last summer hurrah. (I know I spelled that wrong) On Friday Denny, Lindsay, and Jason headed up. Everyone else had to work that day. We had planned on going up to Dry Bread which is just off the road up Monte Cristo. When they got up there it was packed. We knew it was a busy camping weekend but for some reason we thought we were the only ones that thought of going there! So they went up further and found the most beautiful camp site we have ever been too. It was very secluded. I do not know how they found it. Denny met the rest of us and took us to our destination......

We had such a wonderful weekend. The weather was perfect. (We got home before the storm on Sunday) We did not even have to use our heaters the whole weekend. There was a trail to ride the four wheelers on. There was nobody around us, which is good. We do get really rowdy!

We found this spot at the top of a point. It was so beautiful. Popps said that is where he would build a cabin. We rode there quite often and looked at the view. You could see mountains that went on forever.

Popps, Mom, Lindsay, and Jason

Brittany and Cody

Mom and Popps

Amy, Denny, and Mason

Lindsay and Jaylin

Mom, Colby, and Jaylin

D. J. so proud of his pit bike (that kept quiting)

This picture just makes me and Lindsay laugh. It was so not planned but don't Jason and Denny look so cute with there matching shirts and the twins (cousins) match too!

I really like this picture. This is me and my princess Ryanne with Lindsay and her princess (other twin) Kamrin. Me and Lindsay have already said that these two girls have no choice, they are going to be BFF (Best Friends Forever). They already get along so good...as you can see below.......

The twins just really love each other (Wow Kamrin! you are strong)

On Saturday night there was a little lightning so the grandkids took cover in grandma's trailer. PARTY TIME!

Another favorite of mine, this is Me, my Mom, and my sister Lindsay. ( My BFF's) Some of the most important woman in my life. They are always there for me. I do not know what I would do without them in my life. Love ya! (Yes, that is pancake mix on my sweatshirt)

Lindsay with her man, Jason. Me and my man Denny. Brittany and her man Cody. (Lindsay wanted to be taller than Jason)

Colby, he is so grown up. I am so proud of the boy he has become. He is such a Gentle Giant. Here he is helping collect wood.

The Stud Club!
Brett, Cody (not Cory. Lol), Colby, D.J., Denny, Mason, and Jason

Colby, Amy, and Mason

Me and Denny on Saturday Breakfast Crew

Popps, Mom, and Colby on Sunday Breakfast Crew

Me and Ryanne

Girls Only Photo!

Boys Only Photo!

Time to go home.....I think these two are worn out.

That was yet another fun family campout. I do not know if we will make it out anymore this year. But we have so many memories under our belts. I loved every trip. I love spending time with my family. They mean so much to me. We are so close. I am glad Lindsay was able to make it this trip. We had some really fun, goofy nights around the campfire. It was a great way to end the summer! And a fire the last night that we will never forget..(it was in the firepit...somewhat) We did miss Alyssa and Curtis (and Z) Hopefully they can make a few camping trips next year.